I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
