How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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