There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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