I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
