You just made me feel so damn special
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
