Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
