Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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