This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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