I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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