I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
