If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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