She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
