it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
