You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
