oh god the rape fog is back!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
