One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i was born a porn star she said
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
