I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
