so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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