btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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