it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bring me that man meat
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
