just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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