i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize