bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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