I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this will be a night to untag.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
