But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
