I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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