watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
