It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
