a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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