We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize