There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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