Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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