can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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