capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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