im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
