I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize