So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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