Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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