Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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