I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
