Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize