Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
