What did we do last night that was yellow?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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