I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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