She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
