Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
