i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
