we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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