oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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