hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
