was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
