I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize