my room smells like sperm. sweet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
