so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
