i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
