Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i think im in europe. pls send help
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
