singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
