definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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