I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
