foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
